A day in the life of...

This really ain't for you...it's for me. It's a peek into my life, as I live the life. I hope you enjoy...

Tis just another day's journey...

Wednesday, June 22, 2005
And hell, I ain't glad about it.
Let me first say this...I think I've found a church home! I'm extremely excited. Why am I excited? Well, my friend who's here visiting for the next month and three weeks says that I'm very conceited and arrogant and I go to church for the wrong reason. Well, I don't go to look at the boys...although, it helps me get into the Holy mood if the view is right. But, despite popular belief, I don't look for a place of worship with all the fancy do-dads and dad-dos. It's just that well, I've come from a place where we've been through the growing pains. Hell, I was a part of the growing pains. So, at this point I'm looking to pick up the pieces right where I left them. So, hell...I found a place.
Check this out: "Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers. But they delight in doing everthing the Lord wants; day and night they think about his law. They are like trees planted along the riverbank bearing fruit each season without fail. Their leaves never wither, and in all they do, they prosper!" Psalms 1:1-3
As a little church lad, I've read this scripture many times before. Never once did I view this as divine instruction for my path of life. For example all the verbs of the first sentence are extremely progressive and natural in action. I never saw that. They are also applicable to many areas of life. Not only that but there are three conditional promises:
  • A promise of productivity: Hell, there is a tree and it's planted by the stream. If two and two equal four then productivity is a natural bi-product of a healthy system. The point: Check where your ass is planted! If you're not productive where you're planted, it may be time to move.
  • A promise of preservation: Aiight, so there's a leaf on this tree. The promise is that throughout every season, the leaves on the tree will remain as green and a ripe as are in the most prudent season. So, we obey the condition of the first sentence because of preservation. Preservation is simple - pre means before...and serve means to be of use. So, this means that God was of some use to us BEFORE we knew about being of some use to him. You know "Oh how I love Jesus, because he first loved me." Yea, that's some good shit!
  • A promise of prosperity: I don't like it when many people teach about prosperity cuz they take it out of it's original context. So, if I follow the conditions of the first sentence, then I will have the grace to do nothing more than push forward in any situation or activity I'm in. The scripture says whatever I set out to do shall prosper...that's all conditional upon verse #1. And...that's good news.

Oh yea, so a nigga is chillin at this church on Sunday mornings from now on!!! This is home now...I'm happy as hell.

Oh yea, CARIBE and I are doing wonderful. We've gone out for dinner a few times. We saw a few movies together (don't waste your money on The Honey.Mooners). We have daily conversations. We discuss The Golden Girls. We've made out (but never to the point of revealing our wee-wees). We're chillin...Oh yea, he was even in the car w/me when I was hit Monday night (Damn East Coast drivers) and he did his best to console me and make me feel better. You know, it's way too early to tell if he's the one...but, I can see my self with a sexy ass carribbean accented muh fucka. I really can. He was actually trying to teach me how to speak w/an accent one day last week....that was definitely a memorable moment. Although he says I speak like I'm from the country...that wasn't good.

I'm out...

Thursday, June 16, 2005
I felt like the Pied Piper...trapped. So, I did a elementary school move. You know, when you had company at home and your parents came home earlier than expected. He hid in my bedroom until I made sure the coast was clear. I looked through the peep hole and I could hear some commotion on the other side of my door. My heart was literally racing. I opened the door and I didn't see anyone. I signaled to GENE that the coast was clear. That was until I heard a familiar accent coming from in front of me, "What have you been doing - I have been standing outside trying to call you forever...."
GENE ran back into my bed room as soon as he heard the noise...

Now, let me tell you – I’m not one for too much drama, simply cuz I can’t handle it. And let me tell you I was nervous as fuck at that moment. But it didn’t dawn on him that I’d pressed the voice mail key on my cell phone. Anytime you use the voice mail key instead of dialing the number straight out, it will make the messages play loud via the speaker. I had to tell GENE that the coast was clear and there were no worries. When I showed him it was my cell phone – he literally cussed me out for scaring him that much. I guess he’s been down this road before…everything he did seemed to just be second nature. Either that…or that boy was just good at responding to conflict on a dime.

So once he was clear and out the door, I had some work to do. I had CARIBE who I had to get to. I really didn’t know what to expect. I just kinda put myself in his shoes. If I was calling a dude that I had plans with and I couldn’t reach him…I’d be mad as hell. I mean I’d get over it fairly quickly, but hey…that’s me. So, after a more thorough wash, I picked up the phone:

ME: Hey, what’s up?
CARIBE: Nothing – where you been? I left you a few messages.
ME: Oh, I’m sorry – I must have clicked my ringer off by mistake. I was working on the computer and glanced at the phone and saw it was lit up. I’m so sorry – please forgive me. Where are you?
CARIBE: I’m two block away going home…
ME: Oh, I’ll make it up to you – can you come back?
CARIBE: Of course…I’m on my way

Whew…that solved it. So, I just had to do a few extra things…I could handle that. But, I did feel kinda bad though for lying. Listen: I’m not a liar – so, it was difficult for me to tell that one…which is also why it was weak as hell.

So, I met him downstairs and we came up. We completely chilled out. We watched Blanche, Dorothy, Sophia, and Rose act a damn fool. We laughed like we ain’t never seen the shit at all. We watched quite a few episodes with eager. It wasn’t until the middle of episode 5 that we got REALLY comfortable with each other. We were completely laid up at that point. The last thing I remember is Blanche commenting on how she gets all the right types of men…it just kinda happened. We kissed!

Again, this was hard for me. It was hard cuz I never make the first move…and in fact, I didn’t make the first move with him. But, despite popular belief, the ChurchBoy is really a shy little lad. But, once we got into it – that was it. We kissed for about 30 minutes. Our hands did some exploring. After we had our affirmations, our tongues did some exploring as well. While we kissed he took his hands and found that spot on the right side of my chest. When we saw me flinch and let out a moan of ecstasy…he stopped and whispered in his Caribbean accent, “ha, ha – I found one.” I pulled away from him playfully…he wasn’t going for that, so he pulled me back as we picked up right where we left off.

Before our night was done we ended up in my bed. I really had to control myself. I did that cuz I really do like this kat. So, we did some bumping and some grinding…we did some licking and sucking…but, our clothes never came off. As a matter of fact, we never made it to the point of ejaculation. For some reason, my ChurchBoy-ish morals and values were popping in mind and I just couldn’t. I don’t know what’s happening to me, but I think the older I become I start placing healthy relationship in priority over good relations.

I volunteered to take him home. I figured that if the boy did all he did to come to me, the least I could do would be to take him home. As we were getting ready to leave, we passionately kissed again. Afterwards, we hugged. We hugged good too…kinda reminds me of this nerd I once hugged and felt an incredible vibe – he knows who he is.

Anyway, he left the first season of The Golden Girls over my house – so, I’ve been watching that for quite some time now. I’m just about the finish the entire season. That night we talked for about 15 minutes. We recapped our evening and thanked each other for their rightful contribution. We then planned our next evening together. We said our good nights and that was that.

I’m late with the post…that was last week. This week: We’ve moved into the pre-dating status. The status right before you formally acknowledge, “hey…we’re dating.” I’m proud of myself too. Why, you ask? Well, I’m proud because of the way I’ve handled our encounter. I am prioritizing what’s important at this point. My work is my primary reason for relocating. That’s been #1. Rest has been second in command. This way I can be productive at work. He notices that – he doesn’t like it that much either, but he did mention that he completely respects that. Why are majority of the East Coast boyz always wanting to hang out and take up the night life? I’ve noticed that. Call me country, slow-paced, whatever…I just believe in a fair amount of coming home…and doing absolutely nothing.

Oh yea, speaking of East Coast – the Puerto Rican Day parade in New York…I was there – goodness. Just call me Star Jones…cuz this ChurchBoy was definitely enjoying the view!

A Few Days Late...No Dollars Short!!!

Sunday, June 12, 2005
Yea, Yea, I know I'm late with this one - but hey, it's better NATE (We'll blog about him before the week is over) than ever, right? So CARIBE and I are doing pretty good at this point. Actually better than expected. They always say, what you don't know won't hurt you, right?

Well, before I decided to move to the East Coast, or shall I say as I was preparing, I did a little proactive research. I live by the 5 P's (Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance). Honestly, I mean that! So, I wanted to make sure all my ducks were lined in one row - it's easier to take inventory that way. So, I used a dandy little Internet resource that we all so respectfully know as A4A. Here is where I was able to take that peak into what the flavor of the city was going to be like. Here is also where I begin converasation with GENE. He is a rather attractive low-30 something year old Black guy that grew up in the Carribbean and now resides in New York. Ha...must be my luck cuz here's yet another guy w/dreads. His weren't the kind that were extremely neat, but they lay in such a pattern that well - it was sexy on him. I'd never try such a thing.

So, our schedules had been hectic. Before I moved, we'd have plenty of conversations about when we'd meet, etc. Let me tell you - we tried, and tried, and tried. And one thing I learned is that the East Coast Boyz are definitely spontaneous. So, I'm resting and relaxing waiting for CARIBE to show up within the next hour or so and guess who call my phone and says they're about to get onto the Holland Tunnel. None other than GENE. So he asks and I approve. So, within 10 minutes I got a phone call that says I just parked the car. It took me a while to respond. I mean at this time I was completely caught off guard. We had just discussed only meeting each other and that would take place on the corner. So, why was this guy parking his car? When I got downstairs - I checked him out. I know I was completely out of my mind, but it was enough to say, "Hey...do u wanna come upstairs?" I know...I know...I know...it was completely dumb move for me, but hey, I was vulnerable.

So here I am - upstairs in my livingroom with GENE waiting on CARIBE to show up any minute and tell me he's around the corner. Let me tell you - was there sexual tension??? Hell to the yeah! We were laid all up watching TV - I know it's weird, I really can't explain it - but church, look at ya neighbor and say "the vibe was right!" Although I was rather tired, I was in a very relaxed state - hell, he felt good. Next thing you know, the nigga went straight for the ear. I can't explain it but 20 minutes later we were in the bathroom washing each other off.

See, he started it. We were on the couch watching TV - he noticed I was tired. He pulled me closer into him and told me to rest my head right on his chest. Well, rest is what I did. I noticed that he smelled refreshing. I took note of that - he must have been plainning this. Well, there was him parking instead of meeting me like we originally said - then he smelled too fresh to "have been out since 6 AM." I dismissed it and enjoyed the moment - who knew if this would happen again. So, he went in for my ear. I groaned...the right way - just to let him know that I was enjoying what he was doing. I turned my head slightly so I could smell when he breathed. Well, that was to let me know if the niggas breath was fresh. Ain't shit like kissing a nigga with stank breath - that's the pits. So, he was fresh enough - and we kissed. PASSIONATELY. As I kissed him, my hand did some "touring." I found a few good spots. How do I know? Well, his response of course. This nigga was so into it that he was trying to kiss me and moan in pleasure at the same time - a definite turn on.

So, I was suggesting that we were taking this a bit far. That's until he agreed - told me I was correct. And leaned over to unzip my pants and suck my dick. Now listen - I'm not a big pre-cummer - I mean, hey - I barely do the shit...unless the foreplay is soooo good, then I'm dripping like a leaky faucet. I was surpised to see what this moment had done. I'm confused- cuz I don't know if it was the passion from our session or if it was just cuz I ain't been touched in a minute. Anyway - I didn't worry about it too much. We sucked, and liked, and kissed...and repeated the cycle over again until we both reached our climax. Him first...then me.

Yes, you could have imagined we were over our time like Daley was over budget building Millennium Park anyway, the phone rang quite a few times. I know CARIBE was going to be upset with me. Anyway - we finally ended. I figured there was no sense in lying so during conversation, GENE knew that I was expecting company - and he knew who it was. Hell, I'm not entanged with anyone - so, there's no need to hide anything. That mentality was all fine and dandy except for when I got ready to let GENE out. I had completely forgotten that I'd given my expected company my address and my apartment number. In retrospect at that moment, I was thinking if it was possible for someone to get into the buildling...the answer was yes. Here it is...a possibility that CARIBE could be standing outside my front door.

I felt like the Pied Piper...trapped. So, I did a elementary school move. You know, when you had company at home and your parents came home earlier than expected. He hid in my bedroom until I made sure the coast was clear. I looked through the peep hole and I could hear some commotion on the other side of my door. My heart was literally racing. I opened the door and I didn't see anyone. I signaled to GENE that the coast was clear. That was until I heard a familiar accent coming from in front of me, "What have you been doing - I have been standing outside trying to call you forever...."

GENE ran back into my bed room as soon as he heard the noise...

Ra.chel R.ay...I love her!!!

Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Yes - this is something that most folks don't know about The ChurchBoy - but yes, I am secretly in love with the Fo.od Net.work. I can literally sit down and watch the channel as though it’s situation comedy. I am totally addicted. I literally watch the shows every day…all day. I have been addicted for years now. It started with Em.eril – the escaladed from there. At this point 80% of what I watch on television is on channel 73…the Fo.od Net.work.

Why am I divulging this information? Well, it’s to discuss one simple phrase, “all the rave!” Okay, So – I was watching 30 minute meals (which means that in the time it takes you to watch this program, I’ll have made a healthy and nutritious meal for all to enjoy – you have to watch the show to get it), I noticed something about Rachel Ray. Well, besides her being overtly happy all the time, she mentions something that’s new and all the rave…grilled salads. Apparently it’s where you take the hearts of romaine (or similar) and literally grill them in a grill pan. You can drizzle dressing and oil for a really tasty treat. It’s really all the rave!

What is it you ask me? What else is all the rave? Ah, Antigan boyz – of course.

Well, let me explain. So, I meet with SMIRKY as planned. We hit it off even better than expected. We ended up walking around Liberty State Park and we enjoyed a really good conversation under a tree looking directly at the Statue of Liberty. We ended up sitting there and he asked if he could hold me. Let me tell you – was I apprehensive? HELL NO! It’s been MONTHS since I’ve had this type of interaction and this church boy seized the damn opportunity! Can the church say A-MAN to that?

We did a little sexual playing – but nothing that mother would be upset at me about. But, I must say, if anything is too good to be true, then sometimes it really is. (Side-Note…niggas with neat ass dreads are the bomb – I’m so in love). So, our conversation ended up leading us to talking about our pasts, our presents, and of course – our futures. I found out that he was leaving in a few weeks to go back to school in California. So, although he mentioned his interest and showed it a few times, with interest, we came to the unsightly conclusion that we would remain friends and let the platonic road of life take its course. Before we left to go our separate ways, he did say he’d been thinking about something;

ChurchBoy: What, what is it? Go ahead and tell me.
SMIRKY: Nah, that’s okay (grabs my hand to continue to lead the path)
ChurchBoy: NO, seriously – what is it…I can handle it.
SMIRKY: No, It’s goofy – nevermind.
ChurchBoy: Come on – what is it?
SMIRKY: Okay, promise me you won’t be upset.
ChurchBoy: Okay, I promise I won’t be upset.
SMIRKY: Aiight, it’s just that I’ve been looking at you and watching you. And well, since I won’t be here there’s nothing that you and I can start. But, I have a friend – and you are completely his type. He likes guys just like you and well, I was wondering if you’d be interested.
ChurchBoy: Well, I don’t really do blind dates – but tell me about him.

So, literally – I’m thinking what do I do. Was I nervous? Yup – of course. I’ve never had this happen before. Then there’s a bunch of things that begin to go through your mind. Will he like me? Will I like him? What does he do for a living? Does he smoke? Does he have a good retirement plan? LOL – I mean, those are all questions that ran through my mind…and a few more. Ya know – how was the brother’s body…was he cute...can he kiss…does he have all his teeth.

At about 12:30 AM, my phone ring – not noticing the number, my voice reflects that:

ChurchBoy: Hello
Caribe: Yea, my name is Caribe – I got your number from my friend SMIRKY
ChurchBoy: (noticing the accent) – Yea, what’s up? How u doin?
Caribe: Good, I’m good – you?
ChurchBoy: I’m good – can’t complain

*an ackward moment happened *

Caribe: So, how weird is this?

So well, needless to say at about 2 AM, an hour and a half later, we were saying our good nights. I mentioned to him that I had to get up early because I had a conference to attend and I had to travel to get there. This nigga actually called me yesterday morning to make sure I was up. Before we hung up – we wished each other a good day – and we made plans to meet the same evening. (He was more up front than I was…a definite turn-on)

So, he calls me and tells me he’s just getting off the Metro and is approaching my house. So, I was oiling my body (ain’t shit worse than a rusty dark skinned nigga) and playing a healthy game of Bid Whist online. He soon called and told me that he was downstairs. Still, not knowing what to expect, I made the trip to the front door – down the stairs – and into the lobby to let him in.

I have to tell you a bunch of things ran through my head when I was going down the stairs. But, eventually – I met him. I must say, homeboy definitely had it going on. Going on to the point where I was almost like, “Dayum…OK!” After about 2 minutes of initial conversation (the time it took to guarantee we definitely had a vibe) I invited him upstairs. He agreed to come up. We talked…a lot. I found out we have a lot in common. I had some ol’ school music playing in the background – ya know, EWF, Gladys, Aretha, Ojay’s, etc. There was definitely a strong vibe going on. What was cute was that we kept touching each other during conversation…that was hot.

Why do I say Antigan boyz are all the rave? Well, it’s just because they are. They’re nice and plump in all the right places (trust me, I have the gift of discernment), they offer great conversation, they have this sweet innocence, and well, not many of them are ugly. I must say, ol’ boy is definitely nice – he’s 6’1, 190, a little lighter than me, nice fade, nice facial hair, a killer smile, dressed right, and he smelled right! The ultimate for me is definitely the damn accent – it had me going ALL NIGHT!

Anyway, at about midnight we decided to end our night. We shared nothing more than a hug. He called me when he got home – we recapped our evening. There were some things we didn’t get a chance to do…that’s why he’s coming over again tonight.

We’re PLAN on watching the 1st season of Golden Girls – he has it on DVD and we both love the show. Thank you for being a friend…travel down the road and back again…ya know my heart is true, you’re a pal and a confidant…thank you for being a friend.

Lift my hands and say what???

Monday, June 06, 2005
Okay - I must admit - this is starting to bother me. I think it's important to have a church home...don't you? Well, I ended up going to another church in my quest for a place to pay tithes and offerings and guess what? You wouldn't believe it.

First of all, please tell me what is up with homos directing the choir? Now, listen - let me first say that I have nothing against homos - hey, I'm family myself. Then I have nothing against choirs - the name says it all. But, why does every choir have to have a guy directing who just so happens to have a noticeable limp wrist? I've visited two churches since I've been here - I'm not too sure about the first church - but look at ya neighbor and say "on yesterday."

First of all the boy wasn't no older than 16 years old. Not only did he appear to be obviously filled with the precious gift of the "Homo-ghost," but homegirl definitely exemplified all the signs:
  • Led 75% of the songs and sang 25% on key
  • Shouted at least twice
  • Lastly, but not least - when it was his turn to sing he looked as though the audience was getting on his nerves when he knew damn well he wanted to sing them goofy ass songs.

I swear, I tried to get w/the program - but it was extremely difficult to do so. Someone should invent some type of meter that prewarns the visitors like me of the Homo-level of the church. I don't know...I just can't get w/too much homo activity inside the church. Let's save it for after church - lol.

Well, since East Coast and I have come to the ends of what is and was to come, and since a nigga has his DSL @ the crib, and seeing as though I haven't had any type of sexual experience for months now, and seeing as though I'm tired of jacking off - I've found myself um...let's just say finding very innovative ways to meet people.

I've played w/the chat line (I must tell you of my experiences). I've also dabbled a bit w/A4A & M4N. Let's say, I've had positive results. But, most interestingly I recently tried UFP - Up front and Personal. I went into a local office supply store - I won't say the name, just to keep some level of anonymity.

The greeter was HOT!!! Lemme tell you - just like I like 'em. SMIRKY was brown skinned, tall, thick, had neatly arranged dreads, perfect white teeth, and a smile to make you write home about. (All I have to do is by a stamp and I'll be all set). So, why did I want him to help me when I couldn't find the product I was looking for. He told me to follow him, ha, that's just what I did. Eventually, we started talking. I threw in the "oh yea, I'm new to the area" diversion of the conversation - before you knew it, we exchanged telephone numbers. We're hanging out tonight...let's see what kinda smirk I'll have tomorrow...

Join me in celebrating...

Friday, June 03, 2005
So, I've made it here and I'm about 80% settled. I still have a ways to go though. Some things that I've noticed:
  • I can't find an Italian Beef nowhere. My people's from home know exactly what I'm talking about. You see, this is the ultimate of cuisines in Chicago. It starts with a rump roast with a nice amount of fatty marbeling. It's slow roasted in spices and its own juices just until its a bit before fork tender. It's thinly sliced and set back in the juices and seasonings to get nice and tender. This process takes at least 14 hours. The meat is then put atop crusty french bread. My personal favorite: garlic toasted french bread, with the sandwich dipped in juice until the bread is soaked, topped with American and Provolone cheeses and drizzled with hot pepper oil and vinagerette. Yup, that's how you do it. Can I find a spot over here on the East Coast...nope.
  • Target...is a fool! I went to Target over here and let me tell you, nothing matched. NOTHING! If the price was 24.99 on the sign, the product was literally a different price. I argued the clerk and the manager to give me that shower curtain for the $14.99 price on the sign, they told me it rang up as $19.99 and I'd have to pay that price. After 10 minutes, a brotha saved $5.00. Lesson to all - as the consumer, you control things! If they wanted to control the price, they'd control the way they stock their inventory.
  • Resturants...are nasty as EVER! Plain and simple...why would I buy fried chicken from a place that has Middle Eastern people in the background. No offense to the people, but they don't know much about frying chicken. That's evident to the non-existent lunch rush they experience daily. Not to mention, if they can't keep the floor clean, do you think they can actually clean a chicken thigh without any problem?
  • Parking...please let's not mention this. My rental truck was stolen. My car was also towed and impounded for parking in a LEGAL parking spot. Again, after some conversations, I was able to get them to waive all the fees and give me my car. I picked it up - everything was in tact EXCEPT for that chakly writing they put on your front windshield. I have to get some old school potion to get rid of all those marks. That's going to be fun.

Beyond that, my new home on the East Coast is cool. I must say, the East Coast does have the best view of the boys. Everywhere you look, there are boys. And not just ordinary people, I'm talking about "damn, that nigga if fine" type of boys. So...that's hot! I've gotten my feet wet in a few social aspects of the city, being EXTREMELY careful of course - good results, that's all I wanna say - lol.

But let me get this off my chest. Now that I'm officialy out of the Corporate America world, I must get this off my chest. I've been holding it in for the past 7 years of my Corporate America stint. And don't act like yall don't do this either, but - taking dump was extremely difficult. No for real, you may call it something different. I've heard, the number 2, laying down your burdens, feeling God stretching out in you, the BG's (Bubble Guts), combination abomination...I mean, hey - however you identify it, it's difficult to do in Corporate America. Why? Well, I don't know - I think it's moreso fear of the unknown. You know, fear that people will see you going in the bathroom and then see you coming out 15 minutes later...in their mind, you know their thinking "damn, this nigga just shitted...ha, ha, ha." Or maybe it's because the other Black folks, especially some of the cute men will catch you in the action of release - and you become embarrassed. Well, whatever it is, just join me in my celebration. I have been liberated. I am free. I no longer have to do the boo-boo scout walk (that walk where you go in the bathroom to see who's in there and if someone is, then you act like you have to pee or you just wash your hands and leave. And all the while, your stomach is about to bubble over and kill you cuz you just ate moo-shoos and beef and broocoli for lunch). I no longer have to wonder who's in the bathroom with me by listening to the voices while I'm on the toilet. I was so bad, that i'd be done dookeying (LOL) and I'd hear some brothas come into the bathroom, I'd sit there until I knew for sure they were gone. There was a few incidents where I was caught - and I walked as fast as I could back to my cubicle. But join me in celebation...it's over!


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